My terror is ordinary

12 February 2010 9 comments

I'm terrified of being trapped into ordinary life. 
I'm absolutely terrified of being trapped into an ordinary life. 

Banal, pedestrian, dull, boring, tedious, quotidian, monotonous, uneventful, unremarkable, tiresome, wearisome, uninspired, unimaginative, unexciting, unvaried, repetitive, routine, commonplace, mundane, humdrum, lifeless, insipid, vapid, flat, bland, dry, stale, LAME.

Please, God, remove me as a brand from the smoldering pile of insipid living.

>>This fits in perfectly with my existential crisis "Your life is Eden."


  • Harmony said...

    Haha-- my first thought was: have kids! They're the opposite of every adjective used above.

    But really, I KNOW! That picture sends shivers down my spine. Let me create and re-create. Let me conquer and take dominion. Let me on adventure and let me into depth, give me wildness and beauty and reckless abandon--but DO NOT let me merely survive life in the status quo. I want to LIVE.

    The craziest thing for me is when LIFE is found in the middle of the humdrum. I may want to be traipsing Europe with a backpack or preaching and saving a thousand souls, but wherever God puts me, that is LIFE. Life abundant can be experienced in even the most ordinary, I think, if our heart is not captive to the slavery of status quo. Or at the least, these are my thoughts as I am forcefully having to learn contentment in a situation I never would have chosen! =)

  • Emily Star said...

    sheesh, i don't know harmony, but i want to avoid the captivity of the status quo...well put. Kessia! i have that fear too! and finding the living in the hum drum....i like that and i think you do that well. i remember you had wheat grass in your room--a random memory. but it made your room SO bright. little stuff....ok wheat grass is maybe not the BEST example, but it is something that stuck out to me....and I have the worst memory in the world! ever since those days, i've always wanted to grow some wheat grass.

    much love, em

  • liesbet said...

    I am terrified of a mundane white-picket fence life as well. I have made difficult choices in my (very short) career to escape the routine. The thought 'what if I will be content and at peace with an unremarkable life?' scares me. How far should I stretch myself to be out-of-the-ordinary and HAPPY at the same time?

  • kessia reyne said...

    Oh, Stella-- I have felt this way for a long time. Years. At least 4 of them.

    I've been trying to articulate for a very long time now the feeling of terror I have when I think about ordinary living. Some people need those cheesy email forwards that remind us all with a sappy story that we shouldn't take loved ones for granted and that life is short and we should enjoy it while we can. Well, I don't need any reminders. I'm probably the only 26-year-old I know who's having an existential crisis about her own mortality and the frailty of human life.

  • Miss Jehle said...

    Somehow I missed this blog. This is what I have to say about it:

    Not sure if these dates will work for you or me. BUT in the spirit of striving for the extraordinary, I say let's at least check it out :)

  • stella said...

    Kessia I understand you completely. That's why I went to Brazil to rediscover my family and I just felt like they took that for granted. They expected me to have it together and to be working so that I could get a house, a car, a husband, and children. And when I would ask why? they thought it was a ridiculous question. Not that there is anything wrong with that I just feel that at this time in my life it is more important to understand who I am where I came from and what is the purpose of it all. Also, struggling with mortality is something that is very real to me and has been for a while because since my freshmen year at southern it has been one tragedy after another. okay.... maybe this isn't exactly what you meant. But to some degree or another your not alone.

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