There was a while when I stopped saying a prayer before eating. I did this because it seemed lame. Rote. Meaningless. Why again am I stopping to ask God to bless this food? Didn't He already bless it? He brought it to me and that seems like the most important blessing when you're talking about food. So I started just eating my food right when I got it, which fit in very well with my usually ravenous desire for food and penchant for express self-gratification.
God grew the wheat and sent it in loaf form to me.
Now I started again saying that prayer before food (at least some of the time) because I came to see it more as a moment to recognize God, a pause in the chaos to have some gratitude and remember Him. I guess I say this because I'm rethinking my approach to my devotional habits. I was pretty structured there for a while and then the last two weeks I just took a laissez-faire approach and let come what would come. And now it's back to the drawing board.
I know that I need to read the Word and to pray and to serve and to be in community. But that's all. Everything else I have put in a box with a small package of explosives. I'm ready to try something new.
3 comments:
I rarely pray before I eat anymore, and I feel like I should. The key I think is motivation hey. If I pray before I eat because my parents taught me to and I always have, then it won't be meaningful. But if I take hold of the idea, like you did, of communicating with God, then thats cool. What if I genuinely acknowledged God for my continual literal and spiritual sustenance at every meal? That would be good for me.
there is something to be said for spontenaity and serendipity in spirituality, at the same time i guess there is something to be said for structure. its a tough balance eh?
yeah, a tough balance indeed. The woman who practices spiritual direction with me, upon hearing about my devotional routine, commented that it seemed rather regimented. I'd never thought of it that way exactly and it made me want to re-examine what it is that motivates my devotional practices...
An important lesson that I'm just learning is that I need to practice spiritual disciples based on the right goal. I can no longer look to more Bible reading or prayer as my goals, I can no longer idealize three-hour early morning devotionals as my goal. I see now that the real purpose of all spiritual disciplines is not to do more spiritual disciplines, but to become more intimate with Jesus, and more like Him! It's a significant shift in my mind... but where to go from here? I'm still charting that territory, as you can tell.
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